Dear Ajay...

If I could write to you, this is what I would say.

The last time I saw you, soon before I left India to return home, you asked me not to forget you. With beautiful brown eyes gazing up at me, you begged me to remember you...to tell my family and church about you. I've kept my promise Ajay. Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts, that I do not lift a prayer to God our Father for you. I dream about us being reunited, that I could see how much you've grown up, to hear your voice again, to see your pearly white teeth showing through your smile. When I returned to the States after my trip, I told my church about you and all the other orphans; I told them about your love for Jesus, how you want to be a pastor when you grow up, how you were freed from child slavery, how your parents abandoned you.

 Do you remember how we met? It was my second day at the orphanage. You came up to me and asked if I knew how to draw. When I said yes, you asked if I would teach you. From that day on we had such a special bond. The next day you were in my group for English time, and I taught all of you how to draw different objects. We drew a landscape picture, and I watched as your imagination took flight. You drew trees, mountains, rocks, birds, and clouds. I have kept all of the drawings you've given me, such precious and beautiful works of art. You are so talented Ajay. 

I remember the first time you called me mom. My heart almost exploded, and tenderly I called you my son. At that moment we adopted each other as our family. Everyday that I came to the orphanage you gave me drawings and letters. When I had to say goodbye to you forever, I held you so tight because I didn't want to let go, and you just let me. Tears rolled down both of our faces, and you begged me to not go. And if I would have had a choice, I wouldn't have left. I remember getting into our car, and you were just outside my window. As the driver took me further and further away from you, you ran after the car, waving bye, and I couldn't stop gazing at you. Leaving you was the most heart breaking thing I've ever done.

It is so hard being in the States and not knowing how you are doing, if you are safe and provided for. God has taught me that no matter how much I love you, He loves you eternally more. Though I was force to leave you, God will always be at your side; though I'm not there to care for you anymore, God is your provider no matter what. I rejoice in knowing that the Holy Spirit dwells within you, and that God will continue to use you for His glory. I rejoice in knowing that even if I never see you again in this life, we will be reunited in heaven, and together we will praise the name of Jesus.

I love you so so much Ajay,

Amber Mom